Living Your Life Is Important
When I was younger, I was known for being the goody-two-shoes. I can't lie; I wanted to be modest and not make mistakes. Yes, I did have moments that came from anger when I did something wrong personally. But I didn't like making mistakes. I didn't want to be seen in a negative light, right?
I was in a relationship/situationship for the first time not long ago, and some part of me was happy and enjoying it because I wasn’t tied down, although I knew I wanted more. But it was so nice doing something I normally wouldn’t do and just living my life. But I had a mental health crisis that stopped it all, and I felt stupid, and I was mad at myself, like really mad, and I was mad at God and the world. Ahhh, I never knew how much living your life and figuring stuff out is a part of the process.
I try to be soo freaking perfect sooo much it’s exhausting and frustrating because I don’t wanna feel feeling and figure shout or I don’t want curiosity to ever get the best of me because I don’t want to lose or make a mistakes. Man, half this stuff we laugh at at the end of the day once we've learned that lesson. Man I never knew how valuable not being afraid to live your life was. Everything always happened to me because of other life situations, and I kept feeling like the crappy person, and I kept feeling less than. I promise you that’s the reason why I can’t enjoy a lot of the good things because I’ve been through the ringer, and I’m only 24, man.
The fact I've made it this far in life without giving because feeling less than and not enough is nothing but God. I never really wanted to give up until my mental health crisis, but gosh, I have been battling myself and my mental health for years because I never felt like I could live and enjoy my life, haha.
Man, I'm crying at the moment I'm writing this because I'm just so glad I made it, man. I’m so glad I made it. Anyways, uhm, this came from some recent things that have happened to me and me living my life the last couple of months, but, uhm, it's worth telling.
But as I’m writing this, remember to check on your friends and family. This world is hard to navigate, and it’s not meant to be navigated alone.
